Getting it all Together

I started drinking St John's Wort tea 3 days ago and it has changed my life. I finally feel relaxed and calm. I am much less irritable and crazy feeling. I am much nicer to my husband and children. I just feel a relief from the internal weight that I couldn't seem to get rid of. Praise the Lord!

This has given me the relief I need to focus again. So I've been thinking of all the ways I'd like to change my life - for the better. I'm focusing on being a better mother, wife, and housekeeper. I've got my list and now it's a matter of deciding where to start. If I may, I'd like to share my list:

1. Be on-time to work, everyday.

2. Develop a consistant bedtime routine for both kids.

3. Potty train my son, maybe my daughter also.

4. Get in a consistant habit of doing a little housework everyday so it's not so out of control,

5. Organize my house to save time and anguish searching for things.

6. Redecorate my home to feel brighter and more cheery.

7. Develop healthy eating and exercise habits.

8. Plan meals to stay in budget and encourage home cooking.

9. Keep to budget and build savings while reducing debt.

10. Get outside more and enjoy God's creation.

I realize that this is probably a similar list to most people my age. But it really helps me to see it in writing. And hopefully posting this will keep me accountable to my commitment of change.

Since I have relief from my depression and anxiety, I feel hopeful that I can do whatever I put my mind, with the help of God. Now to develop a step by step plan...

What it means to be a woman.

In 5 months I will be turning 30 years old. I'm told that your 30's are so much better than your 20's because you know who you are and you can just be yourself. This has me thinking if I really know who I am or my place in this world. And for that matter, if I ever will. I ponder if I've made the right choices and if I am being the best mother, wife, employee, Christian, etc. that I can be. Somehow I always feel a bit inadequate. I know I could do better. I try but the perfectionist in me feels I could do much better. All my life I have feared missing out on something and I suppose that I fear that not being perfect will make me miss out on a happy and fulfilling life. But maybe these are all part of being human. Or maybe even more specific. Perhaps it is part of being a woman.